ooh... new colors. me likes

Like I said, there would be more to come... and later is now.

Since I started working the two jobs, I haven't had much time for some good old fashioned fun. Starting at seven am Friday morning, when I called in sick to work (my foot still hurt a lot) I was up and running errands. Went to the doctor, got the car washed, got the oil changed (yes I know I can do it myself, but I was lazy), got my hair cut, my eyebrows waxed, bought a new pair of jeans and a shirt (they're having an awesome sale at Gap). By now its around six pm. Knock at my door... who could that be?

My companion for the evening, the aforementioned Greg, came up for some quick partying TJ's Style at Alfie's house in Ojai then a drive over Casitas Pass and hit downtown SB at approximately eleven forty-five. The DJ sucked harder than a wet/dry vaccuum, I'm not a great DJ, but I could have done better with one hand tied behind my back. Dude didn't even have headphones to cue up the music right. The music also pretty much sucked, but it was fun just to dance after so long a break. Hopped in the cab... passed out around four.
Next day, I returned to my lazy habits and slept in quite a bit (until eleven I think) picked up my car downtown, then we headed up to Mesa Cafe for some breakfast/lunch (we both chose breakfast) and they were playing DMB! Really, and me in my DMB hat too. Afterwards we hit the beach. It was overcast, windy, and generally not warm, but Greg wanted to go, so we went. Then the nutcase ;) stuck his head in the surf. I took a few pictures (only eight I swear!) can't wait to see how they turn out.

Time certainly flies when you're having fun, and alas I had to say goodbye and go to work. Went home at twelve-thirty slept some, and was at Blockbuster at nine am to open the store by ten. I didn't know if it was going to be busy or slow, being Easter and all, so I carefully planned out my day according to not knowing anything. It was busier than TJ's on a Saturday morning. Ran out of five dollar bills by four pm. Ran over to TJ's picked up some fives, herb-roasted potatoes, and green beans. Back to BB, picked up my stuff, clocked out, rented "The Pelican Brief" (hadn't seen it in so long, I forgot the storyline) and headed over Sandy's for Easter dinner with her and Angela. It was very yummy. My compliments to the chef!

Now I'm back at home, blogging and getting ready for bed because I have to work at five am tomorrow. Yay me! On a good note though, Greg gave me a mix CD, and accidentally left a copy of John Mayer's show 1-27-01. I used to have a copy, but have since misplaced it. I'll have plenty of musical pleasure when I'm stocking the shelves at an hour when I should be at home sleeping.

Downloadable - "Tenderoni" - Bobby Brown

Faeries when you lose your way,
from the dance returning,
in the darkest undergrowth,
see my candles burning.
These shall make the pathway plain,
homeward to your beds again.

What a weekend!!! And its only half over! Alright... more to come later about exploits from last night.

ok... one more song...

Burt Bacharach and the Barenaked Ladies - Close to you.

What the heck is up with most California supermarkets/liquor stores/ gas stations? They won't take a U.S. Passport as a valid form of ID?!?! WTF? Tonight I stopped by Ralph's to pick up a sixer on my way home from work. The lady says, "I'm sorry, do you have a California ID? I can't accept a passport". When did it become easier to fake a passport than a California ID? You can't fly from Japan and get back into the country with a California ID. And although I'm all for California seceeding from the Union, it hasn't happened yet, and the last time I checked, to get a job in the US you have to have two forms of ID if you use a state issued ID, only one if you have a passport. It is proof not only of my age, but my citizenship, my right to be here in this country. They can't deport me, I'm from here!
Behind me in line was a California Highway Patrolman and he stepped up to the counter and asked the lady if there was a problem. She kinda did a double take, and looked at my passport really hard. He then said, "As far as I know, the only thing a passport can't prove is that this person is eligible to drive in the state of California. It does show her age, it shows her picture, and as far as I can tell, that's her, and also as far as I can tell that is a valid and legal form of identification in the United States of America. Says here, she's 22. And its valid until 2008. If you don't want to sell to her, I'll buy it for her."
Ok, now I know this might sound somewhat out of character for a CHP officer, but this dude was certainly the coolest cop there ever was. He didn't even bother to ask why I didn't have a DL. He offered to buy my beer for me. The chick ended up selling it to me, but with much chagrin. Now I'm sitting down to watch a movie from the UK, drinking my hard earned Gordon Biersch. Fake a passport? Yeah right. I think its an imprisonable offense. Especially now after the 9/11 stuff.
States rights forever! Until then, I'm proud to be a passport carrying American.
Do you have a passport?

Download of the night - "Something About You" - Level 42 (I'd almost forgotten about this one. used to be on all my mix tapes)

Cleaning my room today... its such a chore. I honestly don't know how it gets this way, other than I'm a fat lazy slob. I usually don't actually clean, just pick up trash bits throw dirty clothes in the laundry, and shove everything I don't want to pay any attention to in the closet. My room's getting a makeover right now (well, obviously not right now)... me on my way to organization. Anyone who knows me well would be able to tell you that it won't last long. Long enough I hope until my mom comes down.

Unbreakable is on the television now, and jeeze, sometimes Bruce Willis gives me the heebie-jeebies. Anyone else?

I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that Aaliyah made her new video for "More Than a Woman" before her death; that girl could dance. I like it. Just wish I could move like she did. The music/lyrics aren't that bad either:

Constant Pressures
No Scale Can Measure
Secret Treasures
Keeps On Getting Better
Do You Wanna Roll With Me?
We Can Go To Foreign Lands Your Hand In My Hand
Do You Wanna Ride With Me?
We Can Be Like Bonnie & Clyde
Be By Your Side

Real profound I know, but its not really what they say, its how they are said musically. The beat bumps.
Go download it now!

My friend John introduced me to his friend Greg, whom I will be seeing in a couple of weeks at a show in LA.
Although I hate LA with a passion, its about time for a bit of a vacation from the paradise that is Santa Barbara.
And I know that I live pretty close to LA, but I just can't stomach that town for more than a couple of days. I guess it has something to do with being from Northern California. I just don't understand what SoCal is all about.
Luckily, in a couple of months, I'll be moving back up to the Bay. I can't wait for the fog.
In other news, I sliced my foot open the other night, and it hurts pretty badly.

Download of the day - Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young - Love the one you're with

First, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a dork. I have been called one on occasion. I hung around with some in high school and college.
But at my high school, there were different classifications than just 'popular' and 'reject'. Here they are, from highest to lowest:

Popular group - girls who wore too much makeup and not enough clothing, dated the guys who were on the football team or in college (ooh) usually on some kind of spirit squad, although our cheerleaders sucked because our dance team was the shiznit.
guys who were on the football team and in regular classes(not advanced placement or honors) guys who were on the basketball team and in regular classes

Sporty group - girls and guys who were into sports, but not into the popularity thing. They just wanted to play. (on the girl side, I partially belonged to this group, because all my friends were really good at soccer) [note: the girls didn't date the guys though]

Overachiever group - those who were in AP classes, and really smart, but they did other things too, like student council and service commissioner (read: glorified hall monitor) [I was also a part of this group]

Thespians(no I didn't say lesbians) - both guys and girls totally into all aspects of theater, you could never miss them during their performances. Also, they made it cool to be 'out' at my school. (I was also in this group, but only because I was in the musicals and such)

Smart group - the kids in the honors and AP classes, but they were always reading or doing homework or something, so that they couldn't give any more time to the school other than academics. (notice that these are farther down the list than the overachievers, what does that say? If you're not involved in something, no one knows you, except that you're really smart)

Band geeks group - they hung out together, they played in the band together, they went on trips and had stories that began with "one time on a band trip". (I was also associated with these cats, but by default, because there's one group that isn't in any kind of lineup)

Magik group - D & D, magik cards, dorky and slightly obsessive kids that played in the halls because they were too shy to go out and meet other people.(even these guys are above...)

The kids that never really fit into a group - call them environmentalists that do nothing, call them musicians that don't play any instruments, call them radicals that never rebelled, call them what you want, they just didn't fit into any category, but they weren't losers. They stuck together. Khaki shorts, message t-shirts that probably meant something but they wore them just to say look at me! I'm a dork! Oh, and don't forget hiking boots that mostly had never seen the dirt of a trail.

Then there was this other group. They were so far beyond their years, they showed up for a class at seven a.m.! A whole hour before the rest of the school (and no it wasn't detention) They don't go along with the others, because they kicked so much ass that they didn't need to be labeled anything other than cool. Maybe its a legacy of the beat generation, I don't know, but they were cool cats. THE JAZZ BAND!!! Sure there were some band dorks in Jazz band, but they assimilated to be jazz musicians, above the petty everyday cliques of high school. Our band won every competition it entered. We got kids to swing dance during lunch (just imagine those popular girls actually doing something other than check their makeup at school). Most of the kids went on to really cool colleges like Cal, Stanford, Oberlin, Berkelee, UCSB, UCLA, or they went on to become professional musicians. And it is the group that I am most proud to have been a part of.

Ok. enough ranting for one hour. I just was thinking about this when two different groups came into the store today, one wearing jerseys, the other with cell phones plastered to their heads.

I finally checked my AOHell mail and found a little jem my friend Nelly sent to me. This is a guy I met while he was staying out here in California with some friends of mine. I told him that I'd like to help him in his quest for rock stardom, so here's a link to the latest publish by The Nellies. I love Nelly to death, and I think the song has a lot of potential, but don't get bogged down by the slow moving progression. I think if they kicked it up a notch or two, they'd have an ass kicking jumble.

OK. have at it.

Ahh... what a glorious day here in Santa Barbara! Too bad I spent most of it inside TJ's.
Working two jobs can really get to a person. Luckily I have it split up so I basically work each every other day. It also means I get no time off. Seven days a week.
Feel bad for me, please. Its the least you can do.

Again with the mailing list crap...

A guy, David posted the other day about John Denver. I love John Denver's music. My friends give me a hard time about it, because its not hip to like John Denver. But I could care less, and I keep trying to get them to see the truth of it all.

Driving through America with my parents when I was nine/ten, all we had was a few tapes to listen to. One of them was "John Denver - Greatest Hits". Driving through the Rockies listening to "Rocky Mountain High". Driving through West Virgina listening to "Country Roads". Watching miles of countryside roll by listening to pretty much any other song. I tell you, it changes a person.

I've also always dreamed of my first dance at my wedding to be to "Annie's Song". Now I just have to find a guy who would agree to it, and not just because I like it, but because he likes it too.

Saturday, in the park, it definitely wasn't the fourth of July.

And I'm not at the park. I am experiencing global warming though. Santa Barbara is so windy and cold right now (yes, I know its march and almost spring, but what was up with the eighty degree weather in February?)... that Traders was packed all day. I had customer after customer with full carts. We have eight registers, the last two usually are only open at around five in the afternoon. Today, they were open the entire day. There weren't any carts left at ten. Two good things about today, got to work with Michael and Esthyr, and I got to work the box for two hours. I'm talking about the dairy box. Usually they only have guys doing it, but I said something the other day to one of the managers, and they scheduled me to do it today! They even told me that I had done a good job! The rotation was so messed up because of the Milk Maids, and I worked that over really fast.

Otherwise, today has sucked royally.

It really sucks when something happens between two friends, and one of them can't be mature and realize that life is too short to be denying relationships (plutonic) just because they feel awkward.

I'm fully able to put down the baggage and just stay a while. Why isn't everyone else? What makes them so damn important that they can't realize that?

Get over your damn self! It'll help, I promise.

It has been decided that the song "One Week" by the Barenaked Ladies is the best song to make a fool out of yourself when drinking and singing kareoke. Its hard enough when you're sober, but hot damn if that rap is hard, especially if you're already slurring.

Driving home from the market just now, I realized that Bonnie Raitt is my female musical hero.

Try it on for size - "Something to Talk About"

Love Part One:

Ok. A thread on a mailing list I'm on nancies a couple of weeks ago asked what guys look for in girls. Of course there were the responses that included physical attributes (i.e. dark skin, dark eyes, long hair), but there were also a couple that talked about personality. Open minded was one of the requirements my friend Peacock had down.

My question is, whatever happened to cook, mother, wife? Fifty years ago, when a man was picking the woman he would spend the rest of his life with (because divorce was not the thing to do back then) the qualities were different than what they are now. The sexual revolution changed all the rules for dating and loving. Maybe in a good way, things aren't so black and white now. Now men marry the women that they wouldn't bring home to mother then. So what do men look for in women now?

Better question, what do women look for in men? Is it the provider that can support a family on his own? Probably not. Since World War II, when women who previously had no employment were forced to work, and after realized that they could do as good of a job as men and wanted to continue working, they have proven time and time again that they could provide for families themselves. Is it the passionate lover and caring father? Is it the friendly companion that she doesn't mind boinking? Maybe. Things have gotten so convoluted that anyone's guess is the right answer. Its different for everyone.

As my high school psychology class taught me, our formative years are way before we even notice the opposite sex as anything more than another player in dodgeball. For me, this was probably ages six through ten (when I was ten, I first noticed a boy who lived down the street from me and had a "crush" on him. I even stalked him to take a picture. I still have it. He looks extremely scared.) During this time, my parents took me on a road trip across the United States for five months. We all slept in the same Volkswagon camper, and I'm pretty sure my parents didn't have sex the entire time. Although now that I'm older, I sleep in a tent if we go camping (because I like my privacy) and they make jokes like "if the camper starts a' rockin', don't come a' knockin'", they didn't at the time. I haven't asked them, but I couldn't ever. I am also pretty sure that I've never seen my parents (who are still married after 30 years) do more than peck, or hold hands, and I certainly have never witnessed a passionate embrace between the two. I'm so happy that they are still together that I don't really care. Its only now that I'm realizing what type of effect this has all had on me.

I've never been one for public displays of affection. It bugged me in high school, and I didn't mind when my steady didn't want to hang out with me at lunch. I was busy doing other things. It bugs me now, when people are all over each other in the stores that I work at. I've never been much of a toucher. I rarely like to cuddle, pretty much only when I'm sleeping. Yeah sure, I like it when I'm sitting on a couch watching a movie with a guy I'm into and he puts his arm around me, but don't try to fondle me, I'm watching a damn movie! Sexually, I'm expressive, I guess, I've never really been compared to anyone else (that's kind of rude, y'know). But when its done its done.

What I'm getting at is this. My parents were friends. They talk to each other. They like to do the same things together. But they don't express their love through physicality. They do it through their intellect. They don't show their affection towards me by hugging me. Its always just a quick hug and a pat on the back. Maybe a kiss on the cheek like the Europeans, but nothing more. My mom was going to come to visit me and help me get some things straightened out, and I offered for her to stay with me, she could even sleep in my bed with me, shoot, she's my mom. She insisted on getting a room at a hotel. I didn't admit it to her, but that hurt.

In looking at my past relationships, and analyzing what I look for in a guy, I see how my parents relationship affects my decisions and choices. I get tired easily of someone who I can't have an intellectual conversation with (if this means arguing, so be it, as long as its not a fight). I get distant when a guy asks too much of me physically. I don't have to have sex to be in love. That's not what love is to me.

More to come later...

download of the day : "Don't Let Me Be Lonely Tonight" - James Taylor

I know you're out there, you just don't comment because I am not very interesting, and I don't have anything interesting to say.

So on that note, I'm going to keep y'all guessing about my long and arduous quest for answers concerning affairs of the heart that I mentioned a few days ago.

Song of the day - "Runaway" - The Corrs