I know I haven't updated... and I know some inquiring minds want to know what's been up with me lately... but y'all are going to have to wait I guess, till I figure out what it is that I have to say.

My mom had an emergency apendectomy this evening... she will not be attending the DMB show on May 19th, unless I can somehow get her in and get to sit in the handicapped seating, which no doubt will already be filled. I am very sad that I cannot take her to this show. I am very sad that I don't get to bond with her in the way that I planned. But she was insistent that I should not change my plans because of her. She just wants me to be happy and she knows that DMB makes me happy. How selfless is she? I still want her to go, but I really just wish that I could drive up there tonight to be there in the morning for her.

And by the way, my vacation starts in approximately twenty-five hours. I am very happy about this because that means that in approximately forty-four hours I will be seeing the boys in LA at Staples. Cross your fingers for an amazing setlist for the first indoor show in California since Arco Arena in 1999 (my first show, where they played Angel From Montgomery)! I'm on a serious countdown now!

I'm getting really tired of some of the dreams I've been having lately. I work too damn much.

All of my dreams as of late have had one or more of the following in them:

someone I work with at Trader Joe's
a post-apocalyptic world
Japanese Military
Isla Vista (college town I used to live in)
some sort of struggle or fight
me trying to be the hero (and I always wake up before I actually become a hero)
Movie scenes inserted where needed
A really big plush banana about six feet tall


I think the real reason why they bug me so much is because pretty much every one of them is set in a post-apocalyptic world, and yet all my close friends have made it through. I know that's not going to happen if there is an apocalypse. I hope I'm still around to be the hero that I dream I am. Right...

Listening to - Where Are You Going - DMB - courtesy of Nathan Spindel

Ever been in one of those highly contemplative and reflective moods? I guess watching that movie made me look back at some of the things that I've done, places I've been, people I've met, and thoughts that I've had in the past. I get this way every once in a while. Trying to remember them exactly the way I perceived them then is very hard. I'm biased by what has taken place since, because I've changed from something before to what I am now. Even listening to the music that I downloaded last year is hard to think about, because I remember why, but not really.

That's so weird to me. I mean, we have video recorders and sound recorders and cameras, that record exactly what is going on, but if I watch a video that I thought was funny two years ago, am I still going to find it funny? Or just embarrassing?

And to get at all of this in an even stranger way, what about videos made while taking strong hallucinogens? Yeah, can you imagine everytime you got really drunk, someone had a video recorder and got all of it on tape? Would you still drink? Best way to kick a habit, I'd say.

When you can't remember if something happened, does it mean that it never happened? And what if there was another witness, they don't remember exactly what happened, but they do recall snipets of the goings on? If you thought that person had a reason to believe what they did, but it wasn't a good reason, does it mean that they're bull-shitting you?

All I can say is I remember every detail now. I've spent nights going over everything, and I do remember. But now, I don't want to. Now I want to forget anything ever happened in the first place. Now that I know what a great time I had, I really just want to crawl into a hole and die, because I know that it'll never happen again. If I did think, for one millisecond that it could, possibly, perhaps, perchance happen again, I think I would be the most insane person ever to walk the face of the earth. Its so completely obvious that communication skills are what this human race needs. We've become so wrapped up in individuality and composure, that we've forgotten how to just be human. And be straightforward with one another.

Its a scary concept, honesty. When you can hurt a person's feelings with honesty, the easy thing to do is lie. And yes, lying by omission is lying. But what happens when that person learns the truth? Aren't they more hurt? More offended? That not only did you not have the self-respect to tell that person the truth, you brought yourself to a new low when you lied to them.

Like I said, contemplative and reflective.
(go download - Shake Your Groove Thing - Peaches & Herb

How good is the movie Forrest Gump?

Yeah, just remembering. Thank you HBO.

See that date? Yep, that would mean only eleven more days until DMB in LA. And it also means thirteen days until my vacation to San Francisco to see DMB at Shoreline! Yipee!

To those of you who know me, you'll know I'm not embarrassed to admit that I like some pop music. Tonight, one song in particular has made me smile and play it again. Its shallow, and lyrically not the best, but I love it right now.
We Fit Together - O-Town
I've been waiting for the stars to come out
Dinner it was fine,
But I can't lie 'cause I've been waiting for ya
To come back to mine
I've been, thinking of you 24/7, every 365
Now the girl from Impanema
She's here right by my side

I got you now and I just wanna
Show you how to play
Goosebumps on your body
Guide the way

CHORUS:
I wanna go all night
Ain't no stoppin' 'till the breakin' of the dawn
I wanna go inside every corner
Girl you really turn me on
I wanna go
Knock knock
Our bodies to the beat
And when the morning comes
We're letting the sun shine
We'll stay in bed
You can't separate us
We fit together

I can feel you comin' closer
Dancin' in the dark (dancin' in the dark)
I touch your lips and kiss your shoulders
Send a letter to your heart
I can't explain to which extreme I'm feelin' you (feelin' you)
How many triple x dreams that's been starring you

I got you now and I just wanna
Show you how to play
Goosebumps on your body
Guide the way

CHORUS
I wanna go all night
Ain't no stoppin' 'till the breakin' of the dawn (breakin' of the dawn)
I wanna go inside every corner
Girl you really turn me on (I wanna go I wanna go)
I wanna go knock knock
Our bodies to the beat
And when the morning comes (when the morning comes)
We're letting the sun shine
We'll stay in bed (oh baby)
You can't separate us
We fit together

I won't get nothing done of what I oughtta do,
It doesn't really matter to me
I-I-I-I am here with you
I can't explain to what degree I'm feelin' you
How many triple x dreams I've had starring you

But I got you now and I just wanna show you how to play (show you how to play)
Goosebumps on your body
Guide the way

I wanna go all night,
Ain't no stoppin' 'till the breakin' of the dawn (breakin' of the dawn)
I wanna go inside every corner (every corner baby)
Girl you really turn me on
I wanna go knock knock
Our bodies to the beat (knock knock to the beat)
And when the morning comes
We're letting the sun shine
Stay in bed,
You cant separate us
We fit together
I wanna go all night
Ain't no stoppin' 'till the breakin' of the dawn (there ain't no stopping till the breakin' of the dawn)
I wanna go inside every corner (every corner every corner baby)
Girl you really turn me on
I wanna go knock knock
Our bodies to the beat
And when the morning comes (when the morning comes)
We're letting the sun shine
Stay in bed
You can't separate us
We fit together

All night
I wanna go all night
Can I go inside
How about inside
I wanna go all night
Can I go all night
What about inside
Can I go inside


Oh yeah, and the song right after that one on my playlist is Merle Haggard's "We Don't Smoke Marijuana in Muskogee". I'm glad I'm not an Okie from Muskogee. Lightning is definitely not the biggest thrill of all. And I'm proud to be a hippie from the San Francisco Bay.

Okay... two things.

1. Prince. His song "How Come You Don't Call Me" is awesome. Alicia Keyes cover; also awesome, but obviously, not as good. Oh, and he has the same birthday as me. Rock on Purple One.

2. A friend of mine sent me an e-mail with a link to this page. I read the article, and just about lost it all over my computer (that would be my lunch I'm talking about, not my mind). Then, I saw it on this guy's website. I'm glad this kind of news is getting to people all over the country from different places in life. Though we are all young, we are going to be the ones running the country (if there still is one to run) in a few years. Time to put an end to all this bullhookey. Don't get me wrong, the public school system did me good (until I was in college). I just don't understand why this type of thing is allowed in the first place. Even at private schools. But I'm not even going near the subject of how I would raise my children.

Okay... a friend of mine just gave me some very disturbing news. Told me that there is a clear fluid that is secreted out of some kind of South African cat's anal glands that is used in certain perfumes. As is male deer spunk and a secreted fluid from the intestines of the sperm whale. Yuck. It'll make me think twice about putting on that expensive french perfume. The one that I can't read what the ingredients are because they're in French. If anyone can validate this or prove it wrong, (I'd be happier with the latter) that would be great. Right...