Ever been in one of those highly contemplative and reflective moods? I guess watching that movie made me look back at some of the things that I've done, places I've been, people I've met, and thoughts that I've had in the past. I get this way every once in a while. Trying to remember them exactly the way I perceived them then is very hard. I'm biased by what has taken place since, because I've changed from something before to what I am now. Even listening to the music that I downloaded last year is hard to think about, because I remember why, but not really.

That's so weird to me. I mean, we have video recorders and sound recorders and cameras, that record exactly what is going on, but if I watch a video that I thought was funny two years ago, am I still going to find it funny? Or just embarrassing?

And to get at all of this in an even stranger way, what about videos made while taking strong hallucinogens? Yeah, can you imagine everytime you got really drunk, someone had a video recorder and got all of it on tape? Would you still drink? Best way to kick a habit, I'd say.

When you can't remember if something happened, does it mean that it never happened? And what if there was another witness, they don't remember exactly what happened, but they do recall snipets of the goings on? If you thought that person had a reason to believe what they did, but it wasn't a good reason, does it mean that they're bull-shitting you?

All I can say is I remember every detail now. I've spent nights going over everything, and I do remember. But now, I don't want to. Now I want to forget anything ever happened in the first place. Now that I know what a great time I had, I really just want to crawl into a hole and die, because I know that it'll never happen again. If I did think, for one millisecond that it could, possibly, perhaps, perchance happen again, I think I would be the most insane person ever to walk the face of the earth. Its so completely obvious that communication skills are what this human race needs. We've become so wrapped up in individuality and composure, that we've forgotten how to just be human. And be straightforward with one another.

Its a scary concept, honesty. When you can hurt a person's feelings with honesty, the easy thing to do is lie. And yes, lying by omission is lying. But what happens when that person learns the truth? Aren't they more hurt? More offended? That not only did you not have the self-respect to tell that person the truth, you brought yourself to a new low when you lied to them.

Like I said, contemplative and reflective.
(go download - Shake Your Groove Thing - Peaches & Herb