Driving home from LA today (well more like on the first part of the drive to Greg's workplace) I fell in love with a song. At the time, I couldn't remember who it was performed by, and I was too chicken to ask, plus Greg looked like he was enjoying the comfy seat and not having to drive in LA traffic (which wasn't so bad) with his eyes closed and head back on the headrest. Wish I could have taken a picture.
Anyway, the song was "When You Come Back Down" by Nickel Creek. I actually started crying, but held in the sobs because its not a very strong thing to do. I didn't want him to laugh. Its such a beautiful song, both lyrically and musically.

After I dropped him off, I listened to it again driving on the 126 (a hwy between I-5 and US 101) and I full on broke down. Not my car, me. My favorite line in the song...
"I'll be the harmony, to every lonely song, that you'll learn to play"... just beautiful. It meant more to me this morning than it did yesterday afternoon, or any time before. Maybe it was the drive, maybe it was the company... I don't know.

I did have a lovely time this past weekend, and last night. Hit up the Martini Lounge on Melrose for a quick set by Eric Lynn's band, no originals though. Hey, and btw, I agree... I like the music, if you could mix it up for me... that would be nice. Wish I had a copy right now.

When you're driving a long distance (ok, an hour and a half isn't that long of a distance, in the grand scheme of things) you often have a lot of time to think. About everything and nothing in particular. I was thinking on how people end up together. This has been a topic of conversation many times for me because I am absolutely fascinated by interpersonal relationships. And I see couples all the time, in my line of work. Often times, we see two people who look like they couldn't be more different. Sometimes, they look like they could be brother and sister. But always the same question pops up in my head... how did they get together, and what makes them stay together? Not even looking at my own troubled relationships with different/similar people. For instance, I saw a blonde haired couple standing on the sidewalk with two dogs on leashes, and they were sharing a kiss. I know previously I mentioned that I don't like PDA much, but it was really cute. I wish I could sit down and ask those two people what made it work. Then again, they could be two married people having an affair while walking their dogs. Either way, something was going right, at that moment.

You can't force relationships, but at the same time, you can't just let them happen, or nothing will. You can't be confused about what you want, or you'll get what you don't. You can't expect to remain just friends when there's much more going on underneath the surface. If you're not ready for a new relationship because you're still hung up on the last one, you can't expect to have a sucessful new one. You can't be aloof one hour, then the next all hot and bothered (cute too) and expect your partner to understand your motivations or even agree with them. And just because you know that life is too short and that it will move on without you, doesn't mean everyone else knows that.

Sometimes primitive desires get the best of us, and our willpower is completely destroyed. Sometimes having that willpower just for principle's sake isn't enough. I'd love to be a free-loving, non-question-asking, not committed girl. Trust me. But I'm not. I'm glad to move on past the initial physical attraction, and concentrate on companionship, but unfortunately, it doesn't go both ways with me. I can't just turn it on and turn it off. I get awkward around people I'm physically attracted to, and if they're not showing any signs that I can pick up on, it makes it even worse. I hate rejection, but I'd rather have that, then be wishing on something that will never happen. At least then I know one way or another.

Anyone else feel the same way?
Oh yeah, don't forget to download "When You Come Back Down" - Nickel Creek